Sunday, April 1, 2007

Turn The Page...

"It was probably for about 10-15 minutes last night that I was basically unable to speak. I stood, walked around and listened to other people at 11th Street, but I didn't speak at all. After the Cardinals took the lead, and after living the last week on a horrible, twisted roller coaster of frayed nerves and torn emotions, I just couldn't muster up the energy to say anything anymore.

I didn't want to talk about the game and I told several people as much. And if I was perceived as somehow being rude, well, I'm not sorry.

Funny how things can turn in Baseball. One pitch. A move made. A move not made. A ball caught. A ball not caught.

And something that looked so easy can slip away so quick.

And after 20 seasons of watching this team, and immersing myself in them for the last 7 months, using them as my escape, still, it seems like it's always destined to end up breaking my heart and making me wonder why I continue to put myself through this. Why do I root?

Why do I root?

A move? A non-move? No. I cannot and will not blame Heilman. He has been the man all season, and he deserved to pitch the 9th inning.

You can't win if you don't hit.

A pitch? Maybe. A couple in game 2, and another last night.

You can't win if you don't hit.

A ball caught? Can a defensive play spur a team on to victory? One of the greatest catches you'll ever see?

You can't win if you don't hit.

That about says it all.

I feel like I've died about 50 times in the last week. I'm not even sure if I'm making any sense right now, because functionally, I'm dead. The Mets have made me completely insane. I don't know if I've slept more than 3 hours on any given night in the last week. El Guapo, Shirts And Blouses and I spent most of the game making up nonsense words because none of us have slept. And none of us could sit still.

Until it was over.

And I could no longer speak.

I'm sure, someday, I'll look back on this season and think about how great it was, and what a wild ride it was, and all the great games I went to, and how great the playoff run was. But I can't do that right now. I just can't do that right now.

Someday, I will..."

-Mets2Moon, October 20, 2006

That was how it ended last year. I suppose we've all been carrying that feeling around all winter, waiting for today. Last season was a wild ride indeed. It was a team and a season unlike any other, roaring away from the gate like no Mets team I'd ever been around to witness. Waltzing through the regular season and running away with the title. Sure, the road had its bumps, and yes, we were shorthanded going into the Postseason, but still, you couldn't help but feel confident.

And we wiped away LA in three. But the Cardinals would be a different matter. The series was totally neck and neck, back and forth the whole way through. Neither team could grab a toehold, and if they did, the other team was there to take the momentum right back. A sterling effort in the 6th game put the Mets in position in Game 7, ready to take it at home.

And that one evening that still haunts me. Nerves. A pitcher who, a few weeks ago , I didn't want to see anywhere near the playoffs. Scraping for an early run, only to have the Cardinals come back. A miracle, streaming into the air out of nowhere as Endy seemed to grow wings to pull the ball back in. Still, no momentum gained. And coming down to the wire, I still felt confident. And just when it seemed like everything was

And suddenly, there was no more. No next chapter. A story unfinished.

But tonight, it starts again. The new chapter begins.

Hopefully, it ends the right way this time.
"Here I am, on the road again.
There I am, up on the stage.
Here I go, playing star again.
There I go, turn the page."
-Bob Seger

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