Shit Show Week

Imagine, if you will, that the Subway Series is not simply a set of games between the two New York teams. Instead, picture the Subway Series as some horrible, demented green, or perhaps eggplant-colored blob, something like a cross between Shrek and Mr. Bighead. It isn't present except during these games this week, and usually it causes things that rarely, if ever, happen in a Baseball game to occur. Or it makes a player do something totally out-of-character. Or it makes a baseball bounce in such a way that defies general logic. Once again, the Mets and Yankees proved why the Subway Series is a horrible, wretched thing and needs to be stopped.

In spite of the fact that for a hot second, the Mets had a lead and things looked to be in a steady place, the Subway Series reared its ugly head and a series of dumb shit began happening to the Mets, culminating in the Yankees tying and eventually winning the game 6-5 in a miserable, predictable 10-inning crapfest.

The game had that dumb Subway Series thing going right from the start. Fire Hydrant Head hit Logan Verrett's second pitch of the game over the head of Justin Ruggiano and off the wall, and ultimately the ball caromed back towards the infield. Gardner appeared to have an easy triple, but he had an attack of Subway Series and decided to score, and fortuitously, Curtis Granderson and Neil Walker made perfect relay throws home to Travis d'Arnaud, who blocked the plate and tagged Gardner out.

But the tone had been set. The game was one of those back-and-forth affairs. Wilmer Flores homered of C.C. Sabathia in the 2nd. The Yankees struck back tied it in the 4th on a Verrett Wild Pitch. In the 5th, the Yankees grabbed the lead when they started hitting a string of 2-out doubles. At 3-1, conventional wisdom would have it that the Mets were going to fold their tents, but they can have an Attack of Subway Series too, and after a Michael Conforto RBI double cut the deficit to 3-2, Matt Reynolds had his Kaz Matsui moment by hitting a 3-run Home Run in the 6th to turn the game in the Mets favor, and everything, for the moment, was great.

But, lest we forget, this is still the Subway Series, which meant that even if the Mets were ahead 8-3, they weren't immune from the Subway Series. By this point, Erik Goeddel and Hansel Robles had worked clean innings, and Jerry Blevins came in to start the 8th, and of course he walked Fire Hydrant Head to start the inning, because Subway Series. With 1 out, Addison Reed came in and appeared to restore order by striking out Mark Teixeira's Carcass. Mr. Morality singled, and then was run for by Ronald Torreyes, who nobody's ever heard of, and appears to be no taller than 5'3" and of course is the embodiment of Subway Series so you knew he was going to do something to screw things up. It appears his mere presence gave Addison a Subway Series, because he then labored through an 8-pitch At Bat by Didi Gregorious, in the midst of which Torreyes predictably stole 2nd, before Gregorious hit a dying quail of a single to left to score both runs and tie the game.

The Mets, at this point, had packed up their bats for the night, since 5 I guess was more than enough for them. The game, however, was not over. Jeurys Familia came in for the 9th and somehow managed to fight off the Subway Series, but in the 10th, Seth Lugo, oddly the last man in the Bullpen for the Mets on this night, entered the game and the Subway Series literally ate him alive.

First, Lugo dug his own grave by walking Ellsbury on 4 pitches, which is just about unconscionable in that spot. Then he got 2 strikes on Teixeira's carcass, before he singled to left. Then some dude with a mullet was batting, which instantly meant that a Subway Series was about to attack, and of course it did because Mullet laid down a bunt back to Lugo, and instead of at least trying to get the sure out, Lugo threw to 3rd, and of course Ellsbury was safe because THAT PLAY NEVER WORKS AND IT ESPECIALLY NEVER WORKS IN THE SUBWAY SERIES!

You know what happened from there. Yankees take the lead, Yankee fans start smacking Mets fans with rubber chickens, the Mets get James Loney to 3rd with 1 out in the last of the 10th and strand him there when Curtis Granderson has a Subway Series and takes a pitch that Dellin Betances basically set on a tee for him to hit out of the ballpark.

So, I mentioned that Lugo was the last man in the bullpen for the Mets and that's of course because the roster was totally cocked up by this afternoon's trade deadline, which saw the Mets make a pair of deals, which were both totally necessary and completely puzzling at the same time.

First, there's the Jay Bruce trade, which seemed to unfold in typical Metsian fashion: complete, then almost dead, then done in totally backwards fashion. Initially, the deal included Brandon Nimmo, who I like but could understand moving here. Somewhere, the Reds balked at some medical records and so the Mets had to go back and figure out something else, eventually closing the deal at around 3:45 by sending Dilson Herrera and youngster Max Wotell to Cincinnati. I like moving Herrera even less, just based on the fact that he's so young and has, I think, a ton of upside. But then again, he also strikes me as one of those guys that the Mets just don't like, because they never gave him a real chance to earn his keep in the Majors and then kept blocking his path. Then again, the perfect scenario would have involved Neil Walker leaving and Herrera taking over next season. We won't see that now, which is a shame, but again, the Mets need something resembling a legitimate bat in the lineup right now, someone who will hit behind Cespedes and provide some protection. Is it a perfect fit? Hardly. But I also trust Sandy Alderson to make trades that have a purpose, so I'm going with it. And as far as the Herrera situation, well, Gavin Cecchini appears poised to ascend soon, too, and could slide over to 2nd Base. So, too, could Jose Reyes if he sticks around.

Then, of course, there's the trade the Mets made with Pittsburgh that somehow ended up with Jon Niese coming BACK to the Mets. Once you're done laughing your ass off over this one, you can shrug, and then laugh some more. I don't know if I can even call this trade addition by subtraction. Yes, the Mets got rid of Antonio Bastardo, which is probably the most operative thing here, but I guess the moral to this story is that sometimes, you have to take something lousy back in order to get rid of something lousy. So...yeah. After leaving and running his mouth a little bit, Niese is back and I believe the first thing he's going to do is sit down with Terry Collins, and Collins is going to give him a towel so that he can wipe all the egg off his face.

And then Bruce and Niese can turn around and dive right into the shit show.

(Yawn) Another Night With The Mets

I don't have tickets to the Mike Piazza number retirement ceremony tonight. I was thinking I would try to snag something on Stubhub (there are, in fact, tickets available from the Mets, but, you know, you have to be comfortable spending $250 a pop, which I am not). But after the two games I attended this week, I've decided I don't feel like going. I can watch it on TV.

I realize that yes, I'm passing on Mets history, and the honoring of an iconic player, but you know, I was also there for his first game, his last game, and his Mets Hall of Fame induction 3 years ago, and many key moments in between. I feel like I should be there. But the problem is that I can't justify spending money, and good money, on a ticket, going back to Citi Field for a 30-45 minute ceremony, and then follow that up by subjecting myself to the Mets slobbering all over themselves for another 3 hours while sitting in front of some back-seat-driver fan who's really a closeted rooter for the other NY team.

Friday night was my 14th game of the season, and you know, there are years when I just have the stink on me, and I think 2016 is one of those years. Most of the games I've attended have been patently awful. Wednesday's game was bad in that having-the-rug-pulled-out-from-under-you sense. Friday's game wasn't just bad. It was boring. And I'm not the only one who felt that way. I had the sense that there were literally people falling asleep watching this team play. My poor other half came with me last night, and she spent the whole time complaining that the game was unexciting. She's been to 2 games this season in roasting heat, and she's seen the Mets score a total of 3 runs in those 2 games. Somehow, they won the first game. This one, not so much.

Steven Matz, bless his heart, did yeoman's work. The Colorados kept singling him to death and he was working at an absolute crawl, but he allowed a single run in the 1st and nothing until the 6th. In between, he gave up plenty of hits, including so many to Charlie McCharlieman that I was ready to jump onto the field, run up to him, punch him in his dopey, bearded mug and yell "STOP!" Of course the Mets responded with a James Loney Home Run in the 2nd and nothing more than that. Tyler Chatwood, who if you'll recall was the starter for the Colorados in the "NNNNNNNNEY STINK" game 4 years ago, ensured that this game would leave me with the same feeling. The Mets, going into the 6th inning, had 2 hits. Once Matz allowed an RBI single to Nick Hundley to score the second Colorados run, I knew the Mets were screwed.

The remainder of the game could have been scripted, that's how predictable it was. McCharlieman got another 4 hits. Matt Reynolds hit a Home Run in the 8th, because Matt Reynolds always hits a Home Run when I'm at a game. The Mets got 2 singles off Jake McGee to start the 8th, and then Mcgee was replaced by Scott Oberg, who proceeded to get the next 3 batters out ON THREE PITCHES! Antonio Bastardo was summoned out of the Gulag for the 9th, worked at a pace to rival Steve Trachsel, essentially put my wife to sleep, and I guess spent so much time scratching his crotch that he forgot he was on a mound, in a game, and grooved a slider for Carlos Gonzalez to hit a 3-run Home Run, at which point 75% of the people in the stadium immediately got up and left.

In the last of the 9th, my wife said one of two things would happen: Either it would end quickly, or something stupid would happen and the game would go 11 innings. I reminded her that the Mets would need to score 5 runs in the 9th to get the game to go 11 innings, and they hadn't scored 5 runs all week. Fortunately, they did not somehow muster up the 5 runs. Not that anyone actually thought they were capable of doing so.

The entire season seems to be teetering on the edge of the abyss right now. I mean, I know this happens to the Mets every season, or at least it feels like it does, but doesn't it seem so much worse this season? It was one thing when ney stank, back in 2012, because that team had no expectations. That's part of the issue here, is that the Mets are falling victim to the curse of high expectations. And I wonder if management here fell victim to the same line of thinking that bit them in the ass between 2000 and 2001, because they went to the World Series the year before and that made them believe they were good enough. I know some improvements were made, but now they need more improvements and nobody seems to be quite sure how that will be accomplished. And for some reason, I keep hearing that they need another pitcher. THEY DON'T NEED ANOTHER PITCHER! I just said yesterday how they seem to have more pitchers in the bullpen than they know how to use. The starting pitching has been excellent. I mean, excellent. It's not deGrom's fault that he threw 7 shutout innings and the Mets lost. It's not Matz's fault that this happened last night either. When your starter gives up 2 runs in 6 innings, he's given you a very good chance to win the game.

The issue lies with all these hitters that are just up there swinging out of their shoes and not doing anything useful. There was some promise in this lineup, but right now it's all evaporated. To wit: after the game, I was thinking to myself, "Hey, you know, Michael Conforto looked really good tonight, he had four solid At Bats." Conforto went 0-for-2 with two walks. And somehow, in my mind, this is a success. Compared to the rest of the lineup, sure. But this just underscores the point. Not only are the Mets boring, but this is getting depressing. I sat through a Baseball game last night and it literally felt like a majority of the crowd didn't actually want to be there watching this team. And it's bad enough that they've made me willingly skip the Mike Piazza ceremony tonight, because I just can't get up the energy to go watch this bullshit team again after what they subjected me to last night.

Escape From San Diego

The Mets managed to escape San Diego with a win on Sunday in a game that historically never ended well for them. Usually, a game like this would have played out the way it did for the first 7 1/2 innings. Matt Harvey had a resurgent start, striking out 10 batters in his 6 innings of work and flashing the 97 MPH fastball that usually butters his bread. Yoenis Cespedes hit his 11th Home Run of the year, and things were just hunky dory. Harvey had a minor hiccup in the 5th, but recovered, Jim Henderson hiccuped in the 7th and recovered, and the Mets were just trying to nurse their lead home.

In another time, on another day, the Padres would have tied the game in the 8th inning after loading the bases in the 9th. I'd say that they would have broken through and scored 4 runs in the 8th, but that's too easy. Collins would have gone to Scott Atchison or Ramon Ramirez in the 9th, they would have allowed the Padres to get runners on 1st and 3rd with 1 out, get a strikeout and then allow a walk-off Home Run, giving the Mets yet another nauseating loss in San Diego.

But that didn't happen. Instead, after loading the bases with none out in the 8th, Antonio Bastardo came in and saved the day, striking out Derek Norris, popping out Melvin Upton Jr, and then striking out Alexi Ramirez to weasel his way out of this Blevins/Reed-induced mess and preserve the lead. And instead of going to a ragtag retread in the 9th inning, the Mets instead went to Jeurys Familia in the 9th and Familia set down the Padres in order to finish out this 4-3 victory that amazingly gave the Mets a split of this 4-game series in San Diego, when a mere 24 hours prior it appeared like they were headed down the road of previous 4-game washouts in Dog Run Stadium.

So, the Mets don't have to worry about San Diego again until next season, but there remains plenty of late-night West Coast games to come as the Mets head up the coast to Los Angeles, where they had a nice time last season and hopefully can carry that over.