Thursday, July 28, 2016

Self-Aggrandizing Pricks

Citi Field on Wednesday night was hot, sweaty and full of Cardinals fans. It was a perfect storm of awful and it seems that the Mets were all too happy to oblige in the misery. After mostly muddling their way through the early part of the game, the Mets exploded to life in the 7th, finally running Adam Wainwright out of gas and taking the lead on Yoenis Cespedes' absolute missile of a Home Run. But the roof ultimately caved in on the Mets in the 9th as Jeurys Familia blew his first save of the season, allowing the Cardinals to tie and ultimately take the lead. Instead of getting to revel in a steely victory, I was subjected to a bunch of Right-wing, underwear-sniffing Cardinals fans squealing and humping each other in the aisles. My Citi Field record for the season once again slipped under .500 in this 5-4 debacle of a game.

It was headed down a bad road from the start. Wainwright was eminently hittable all night, but for all the hitting the Mets did against him, nothing resulted in any runs. This is, of course, the ongoing problem. Neil Walker drove in a run in the 2nd inning and until the 7th, that was it. The Cardinals grabbed a lead in the 3rd because they, unlike the Mets, actually hit the ball with men on base and the result was a 3-run inning against Logan Verrett. So you think that Verrett somehow battled through the night. Wrong. Verrett, outside of that one inning, was just fine. The rest of the team just couldn't get out of their own way. Twice, Michael Conforto came up with a runner in scoring position and 2 outs, and even a measly single would have made some kind of a difference, but each time, he did nothing. It was so bad that Mets fans couldn't even muster the energy to react.

It took until the 7th for the Mets to finally get their asses in gear. Travis d'Arnaud singled, and Alejandro De Aza singled, and the Mets had their opportunity with men on the corners and no outs. But this hasn't been a sure thing by any stretch, and sure enough, Curtis Granderson struck out, and then Asdrubal Cabrera struck out, and George and I were just sitting there in muted agony, while the Cardinals fans were hooting and hollering. One fellow, in particular, was sitting in front of us, by himself, wearing headphones and after each strikeout, he jumped up and did some weird Frank Drebin strikeout impression. That left it up to Yoenis Cespedes, probably the only savior left in this godforsaken mess of a lineup. And Cespedes was game to a tiring Wainwright, and worked the count a bit instead of squeezing the bat into sawdust. Finally, on 2-2, Wainwright bounced his trademark curveball and it skipped past Yadier Molina, and d'Arnaud scored. Amazing. After all that, that was what it took to get a run home. I wasn't complaining, but this was beginning to border on the criminal. Two pitches later, Wainwright again tried to slip a curve in there. We've seen that before. But this time, Cespedes was in full hack mode and he just smoked it. And I mean he Smoked it. Off the 2nd deck, Home Run, and somehow the Mets had taken the lead. You know, after all that mess. As soon as the ball landed, the jerkoff with the headphones stood up, gave me a nasty look, and left. I assure you, for all the epithets I wanted to scream at this turd, I bit my tongue, because I'm far too diplomatic and I try my best to be a good host, even if the houseguest keeps doing things like leaving the toilet seat up and eating all the Frusen Gladje. So I said the nicest thing I could: "One pitch too many!"

In the 8th, Addison Reed did his job and retired the Cardinals without a peep. Now, the Cardinals fans were sitting on their hands, if they hadn't departed altogether. The Mets again had an opportunity to pad their lead in the 8th, but didn't, but that didn't bother me much. They had Familia in the 9th.

And, of course, we know what happened from there. It figures that Familia blows a Save for the first time in a year the night I'm there. It figures that Molina was the one that did it to him. It figures that instead of holding the Cardinals there and keeping the game tied, he gave up a double to Judy-hitting Kolten Wong to give the Cardinals the lead. It figures that the remaining Cardinals fans started standing and grab-assing again. It figures that the Mets went down meekly against Seung Hwan Oh once again. It figures that all the way down the stairs, and outside the building, and on the Subway, Cardinals fans were holding a virtual mosh pit.

The bitch of it all is that it didn't have to go this way. Pick any inning between the 1st and the 6th, and if the Mets could have managed one more hit, it would have meant another run and maybe we wouldn't be in this mess. But noooo. That seems to be too tall of an order for this group. I mean, this is the 4th year in a row I've been to a Mets/Cardinals game, and every year I have to deal with the Cardinals and their obnoxious fans who basically expect us to bow down to them. They really have no clue as to how they appear. Cubs fans are annoying like a 10 year old with bad manners. Fans of the other team in town are annoying like your generic frat bro. Cardinals fans are a different level of annoying and after last night I'm feeling more convinced that they might be the worst of the bunch. And if I say your fan base is worse than that other NY team, well, that's saying something. But at any rate, each of the last 3 seasons, I went to a Mets/Cardinals game and the Cardinals won 9-0, and if they didn't, it felt like 9-0. Sometimes, after games like this, I almost wonder if we're better off if the Mets just didn't score and lost 3-1. But that's besides the point. Then I'd just be writing about how the Mets were simply noncompetitive and the Cardinals Fans were jackasses. What's the use?

At least we're done with the Cardinals here for this season, but more importantly, we're done with their fans. I think I've seen enough of Cardinals fans for the next decade.

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