Baseball Hell

Last night's Mets game somehow ended up being scheduled on FOX, which as we know always goes wonderfully for the Mets. Generally, when the Mets are on National TV like that, they get sloughed off on the lesser announcers, so I feared that I'd be stuck spending my evening listening to Matt Vasgersian screeching, although at some point I'd remembered that Kevin Burkhart is still doing games for them, and it would have been nice to have him announcing the game. Much to my dismay, the game was being called by Joe Buck. I didn't know Joe Buck still absconded to doing regular season games. If that wasn't bad enough, he was joined in the booth by Alex Rodriguez.

Seriously? Joe Buck and Alex Rodriguez? I feel like if I were sentenced to an eternity in hell, every Baseball game would be broadcast by Joe Buck and Alex Rodriguez. There was no game. It was just Joe Buck and Alex Rodriguez doing their own little show. Did you know Alex Rodriguez was wearing a Tom Ford suit? Joe Buck made sure you knew. Did you know Alex Rodriguez grew up as a Mets fan and idolized Keith Hernandez? Joe Buck mentioned that about 40 times, just in case you might not have heard him. Oh, that chuckleheaded doofus Ken Rosenthal was there, too. Joe Buck made sure you knew he spent 90 minutes tying his bow tie. But did you know that Terry Collins became the longest-tenured Mets manager? Joe mentioned that too, but in such a offhanded manner that if you coughed, you missed it.

There was a game going on behind all this, if you could pay attention beyond the white noise coming from the booth, and the Mets did play a solid game for the most part. Zack Wheeler pitched well for 5 innings before running out of steam in the 6th—the same problem he usually has where he throws too many pitches too early in the game. Michael Conforto walked 3 times, Jose Reyes had 3 hits, including the 2,000th of his career, and generally the Mets seemed to be having an easy time of things against Alex Meyer, who by the way is really tall and it's uncomfortable hitting against a pitcher who's so tall. Joe Buck told me that a few times.

At some point I kind of tuned out altogether, because the Mets were ahead and I couldn't deal with it anymore. By that point, I know that Robert Gsellman had come in and had two pretty good reclamation innings, and probably should have finished the game altogether, except that he'd been hit for, and so Neil Ramirez entered the game and immediately showed us all why he was floating around the waiver wire by allowing a walk and 2 hits, and then Addison Reed was brought into a messy inning and he was having a hard time too, walking in a run and giving up a hit, and suddenly Mike Trout was up with the bases loaded, and he swung, and I think when he made contact every Mets fan had a heart attack, but Reed must have thrown him a sucker pitch because he didn't hit it well and it only wound up being a sacrifice fly. Nonetheless, 7-2 had turned into a tenuous 7-5, and Reed managed to walk another batter to re-load the bases before he finally struck out Danny Espinosa to end the game—and we've already seen enough of Danny Espinosa with the bases loaded.

Phew. That was wholly unnecessary as far as drama was concerned, and it was on top of a wholly unnecessary night spent listening to the dulcet tones of Joe Buck and Alex Rodriguez, while Ken Rosenthal intermittently chortled and told us how awful the Mets are. Fortunately, it's back to our usual gang on Sunday, and yes, I know we're unnecessarily spoiled by getting to listen to Gary, Keith and Ron every night, but sometimes you need to listen to the lesser guys to remember just how good we have it. That would be the exact opposite of Baseball Hell.

Air Out Of Building

As much as I hate to say it, the scene at Citi Field last night kind of had all the makings of a major letdown as far as the game itself was concerned.

The Mets, in something that's often not spoken about, have a bit of a history of having these big, glitzy ceremonies where they roll out the red carpet for past heroes before a big game, and then they go out and shit the bed. It's happened more times than I care to remember.

They went out and did it again last night. After what I'm told was a very moving tribute to the 1986 World Series Champions (And no, I didn't actually see it—thanks to the game being on FOX, the ceremonies weren't shown on TV and I haven't had a chance to stream it yet), the Mets were then thoroughly humiliated by the Dodgers and the Umpires in a 9-1 disaster of a game.

This was another one of those nights where I wasn't actually around for most of the game, so I wasn't witness to the compounding bullshit that the Mets were subjected to, but since the game was on FOX, that means everyone's favorite dickheads, Joe Buck and Ken Rosenthal were on hand. Which means Joe Buck spent the entire game sneering at the Mets and Ken Rosenthal buried his head up the Dodgers' asses. I don't need to have seen the game to know this.

Noah Syndergaard matched up against Kenta Maeda. Last time this happened, things worked out pretty well for the Mets. It seemed headed in a similar direction until the 3rd inning when Syndergaard whipped a 99-MPH fastball behind Chase Utley. You didn't need to be a genius to know that something like this was coming. Even Utley expected it, and I suppose had the pitch drilled him, he would have just taken his lumps and gone to 1st base, because for as much of a jackass as he is, he's still a pro and knows when to take his medicine. Generally, these things are met with a warning and then it blows over. But for whatever reason, Adam Hamari, the home plate umpire, who I wouldn't know from a hole in the wall, ejected Syndergaard from the game immediately. Again, I don't really bring Umpires into the equation unless they make a severely poor error of judgement and need to be called out on it. Hamari was totally out of his element on this one. Give Syndergaard a warning and leave it at that. Terry Collins blew his stack at Hamari and got himself ejected as well, and, well, can you blame him?

Essentially, Adam Hamari nuked this game for the Mets. Instead of Syndergaard on the mound doing Syndergaard things, the Mets now had to bring Logan Verrett in in the 3rd inning, and he did yeoman's work until the 6th when Utley hit a Home Run. Because of course he did. Then, in the 7th, he hit a Grand Slam off Hansel Robles. Because of course he did. Because if you didn't hate Utley enough already, this was going to be the night he made sure he placed his name at or near the top of all-time Mets Villains, depending on who you ask on which day.

So, you tell me. You think Utley goes apeshit like that against Syndergaard? Yeah, me neither. Thanks, Adam Hamari. You basically screwed the Mets out of this game. I'm sure Joe Buck and Ken Rosenthal sent you flowers this morning. They must have loved watching this shit show unfold. I turned the game on sometime around the 8th inning—lord only knows why since I knew it was done with—and you could hear the glee dripping from Buck's voice. After the game, they threw it to the studio, where they have a real announcer named Kevin Burkhart—remember him?—and he was clearly incensed at what he'd just been subjected to. It seems like most everyone feels the same way. Sometimes, you just need to let the players police themselves, because outside of this, it's not as though the Mets and Dodgers have some stewing animosity toward each other. Instead, the Mets end up looking like clowns on National Television once again. Thanks, Hamari. You Ass.

You're All Pains In The Ass

After a nice, solid win over the Yankees on Friday night, the Mets fell back to earth on Saturday as the Yankees reared their ugly heads and took advantage of ostensibly the two bad pitches Noah Syndergaard made all afternoon in pulling off a Subway Series-evening 5-0 victory on Saturday afternoon.

The game had all the makings of disaster, and not simply because it was a Subway Series game in an instance where the Mets had to be riding high. First of all, you knew it was trouble when you had to put on FOX to watch the game. FOX, over the years, has abandoned any sort of substance in their Baseball coverage in favor of glamour, which is why the Mets have only been on FOX twice this season. You know, because they're not sexy enough for FOX. They would have preferred to pretend they didn't exist at the All Star game except that Jacob deGrom forced them to acknowledge the team. Otherwise, they get noticed because they're playing a "Marquee" team, not because of their own exploits. Even though they're a 1st Place team. Even though FOX may end up eating their words when the calendar flips to October.

But I digress. Unfortunately, the Mets have this annoying habit of looking like asses in front of National audiences and that sort of happened to them today. A look deeper within the game reveals that they were simply a little unlucky, but if you're Joey Bagodonuts sitting on your couch with your Bud Light and Dorito crumbs on your shirt, with your two kids with oversized Mike Trout/Bryce Harper/Baseball Jesus jerseys covered in chocolate ice cream stains, you watched this game and thought "DERP DERP DERP METS SUCK HA HA." That, as far as I can tell, is the typical FOX audience.

The Mets were unlucky in this game. They were unlucky from the first batter, when Jacoby Ellsbury got jammed by Noah Syndergaard and floated a little dunker over 2nd base that fell in for a hit. Brett Gardner, who the more I see him the more I think he's just a taller Shane Victorini and he needs to be hit in the ribs repeatedly, did the exact same thing. Jam shot over 2nd for a hit. Syndergaard was making his pitches and he got ahead of Carlos Beltran 0-2 but then he just missed his location with a fastball, and it caught too much plate, and Beltran golfed it into the seats. Just listening to that happy-talking schmuck Matt Vasgersian's call, "And it's 3-0 YANKEEEEES!!!" put me in a foul mood. Why not just put on an entire Yankee uniform and make sure they show you in it in the booth before the game if you're going to pull crap like that. John Smoltz, who at least is sort of respectable, looked like he wanted no part of having to sit next to that clown but he had to suck it up, I guess, because we all gots to get paid somehow (fortunately, bow-tied jackass Ken Rosenthal wasn't at the game, I suspect if he was he would have spent the entire afternoon talking about how "the Mets haven't beat a team with a winning record since 2008" or something similarly inane).

So, yeah, that took me out of the game. Then, the Mets singled Michael Pineda to death but couldn't drag themselves back into things, and in the 6th, Syndergaard again missed on a pitch to Mr. Morality that resulted in another Home Run, and things were pretty much toast from there. Sure, the Mets loaded the bases in the 6th and loaded the bases in the 9th, but since the Yankees were bringing in Jeff Nelson, Mike Stanton, Goose Gossage, John Wetteland and The Great Rivera from their bullpen, the game was already over. Or at least that's what we were told by FOX.

Perhaps I take these things a little too personally, because this sort of game kind of wrecked what was otherwise a peaceful Saturday for me, but then again, I'm kind of tired of the Mets being treated like Baseball's armpit. Have I mentioned that this is a 1st place team? Nobody seems to want to give them any kind of credit and, honestly, I've had enough. If I were a player on the team, I'd have had enough too. The best way to stop it, however, is to go out and stick it in their ears. The Mets didn't do that today, but they'll have more chances.

Make Them Remember

Generally, I want two things out of the All Star Game. I want the National League to win, and I want the Mets playing in the game to represent themselves well.

I got one out of two this year in Cincinnati. Though the American League, behind Mike Trout (sorry Cubs fans, Trout is the real Baseball Jesus, not Kris Bryant), won the game by a mostly forgettable 6- 3 margin, the lone Met presence at the game acquitted himself particularly well. Jacob deGrom performed so remarkably well, in fact, that he forcibly interjected not just himself, but his team into the conversation.

deGrom entered the game in the top of the 6th inning with the National League trailing 3- 1. Just one inning earlier, Clayton Kershaw, who was selected for the game at the last minute over a possibly more-deserving Jeurys Familia, had pitched and was battered around for two runs, and eventually took the loss in the game. To this point, our wonderful friends at FOX had done just about everything possible to pretend that the Mets actually did not exist. Prior to the game, if you watched their 1st half Highlight package, there were clips from every team, including the lousy Phillies and the Mickey Mouse Marlins, but not a single Mets clip to be found, except from the night that they found themselves on the wrong side of History, and even then, that wasn't a Mets clip, that was at the expense of the Mets. Kirk Nieuwenhuis was among a select few to knock 3 Home Runs in a game, but was he in the montage? Oh no. We don't abscond to show the Mets. They're not relevant. They're not attractive. They're boring. It wouldn't have surprised me if FOX had found a way to omit the Mets from the "Franchise Four" ceremony (where, if you were paying attention, the Washington Nationals Franchise Four included four players who never actually played for the Washington Nationals—so if you're keeping score, the Nationals have un-retired the Expos' retired numbers, basically ignored the Expos heritage and history, and yet haven't yet actually distinguished themselves from the Expos). When announcing the rosters, that plastic-haired schmuck Joe Buck sneered as he said, "And from the Mets..." as though they weren't even worthy of sending someone to the game. And, through the first five innings, things played out as such.

Then, Jacob deGrom entered the game and not-so-subtly told FOX to kiss his ass.

We have been watching deGrom ply his trade all season, and not for nothing but he was the National League Rookie of the Year last season, and so maybe it wasn't quite so surprising to us that he pitched well. But when you have one inning and one shot to make an impression on a National TV audience, you want to make your mark, and deGrom did that with Style. I'm not sure where deGrom had been hiding his 98mph fastball, but he had one inning and I'm sure he figured he was just going to let it fly, and for 10 pitches, that's just what he did. That's 10 pitches, because that was all he needed to strike out the three American League batters he faced.

He came out with a purpose and basically gassed Stephen Vogt on three pitches, and three such effortless pitches that Buck and Harold Reynolds immediately had to perk up. Jason Kipnis followed and deGrom gassed him too, only needing 4 pitches to blow him out of the box. Now, I was fired up, because now everyone had to take notice. deGrom was putting on his own personal show. Jose Iglesias was next and by this point he probably could have been told what was coming and still wouldn't have come close to hitting it, and didn't come particularly close on any of the three pitches he saw, and once he got to two strikes, I'd bet just about every Mets fan watching was up and roaring like we were watching him in person to will him to that 3rd strike, and that's just what he got.

No, it was not the first time a Mets pitcher had gone out in an All Star Game and struck out the side. But you think back to Dwight Gooden doing it in 1984 and you see deGrom simply overpowering a trio of befuddled looking AL batters, and you hear announcers who had earlier scoffed at the mere mention of your team now totally awestruck, and then he's actually getting interviewed in the dugout, and by game's end he's now regarded as the standout performer for the National League, well, maybe people shouldn't be taking the Mets so lightly.

Still Searching For Answers

You sort of had to figure that after the Mets basically won by accident on Friday night that they might have been doomed on Saturday night. Though they had Matt Harvey going up against the Dodgers on a glitzy, glamorous, nationally televised Saturday Night game on FOX, the Dodgers nickled and dimed Harvey to death, while the Mets had their general lack of recourse. Though the Mets did explode for 3 runs in the late innings, it was far too late and the Dodgers hung on for what felt like a predictable 4-3 victory.

The Mets have played relatively few National TV games this season. In fact, this is, if I'm not mistaken, their first FOX game all year. I suppose this is probably because everyone still likes to make fun of the Mets, but, I mean, what do you want. The Mets aren't the Cardinals, Cubs, Dodgers, Angels, Red Sox or Giants, so can you blame them on being deemed irrelevant by the networks? It's no secret that they're primarily interested in sexy teams and sexy names, and while Matt Harvey certainly qualifies, the networks, I suppose, are too scared to bank on a starting pitcher. You could tell that FOX didn't give two shits about the Mets from the outset of the game, when Kenny Albert, who's barely worthy of shining his father's shoes (which of course makes him the perfect fit for FOX), announced the Mets lineup, featuring their #9 hitter, "Center Fielder, Ron Lagares."

If Vin Scully had been in earshot, he probably would have taken Albert's microphone and slapped him over the head with it repeatedly, while telling him to "Shut up,  you irresponsible child."

Still, there was a game to be played and whether the Mets had Ron Lagares or Juan Lagares in Center Field, they didn't do very well. Matt Harvey didn't have any sort of control of his pitches, probably because he was soaked in sweat most of the day, and ended up walking an uncharacteristic 5 batters in 5 innings. He was, however, able to Houdini himself out of multiple jams, and had Lucas Duda been a little more daring on a 1-out ground ball with the bases loaded in the 2nd inning, he might have worked out of one more. But instead, the Dodgers scraped out a run there, and two more in the 5th inning, one on an Adrian Gonzalez Home Run, because Adrian Gonzalez always hits a Home Run against the Mets, and another on some annoying play. The Dodgers then tacked on a run in the 7th off Alex Torres. And with Zack Greinke and his Hershiser-like scoreless innings streak on a roll, the game was over. Actually, even if Greinke wasn't pitching so well, the game was probably over anyway.

But the Mets did show some signs of life once Greinke left the game, taking advantage of a slightly hittable Dodger bullpen to plate two in the 8th, and, just to make sure you knew they were still there, they got one more in the 9th and actually had the go-ahead run at the plate with two outs and Curtis Granderson up, but Granderson struck out and the Mets went right back to losing annoying games in Los Angeles, which they seem to have done quite a bit these past few seasons.

It's hard to find the good in games like this. Yes, Harvey did a good job of getting out of multiple jams, but he also got in them in the 1st place. And yes, the Mets offense did score 3 runs, which feels like the most offense they've generated in weeks, but it was also accomplished when the game was already out of reach and given the opportunity to get themselves even, they went right back in the tank.

So, one more here in LA, and it's the Dodgers Mojo against the Mets Matz...Well, something's got to give, right?