Saturday, September 19, 2015

You're All Pains In The Ass

After a nice, solid win over the Yankees on Friday night, the Mets fell back to earth on Saturday as the Yankees reared their ugly heads and took advantage of ostensibly the two bad pitches Noah Syndergaard made all afternoon in pulling off a Subway Series-evening 5-0 victory on Saturday afternoon.

The game had all the makings of disaster, and not simply because it was a Subway Series game in an instance where the Mets had to be riding high. First of all, you knew it was trouble when you had to put on FOX to watch the game. FOX, over the years, has abandoned any sort of substance in their Baseball coverage in favor of glamour, which is why the Mets have only been on FOX twice this season. You know, because they're not sexy enough for FOX. They would have preferred to pretend they didn't exist at the All Star game except that Jacob deGrom forced them to acknowledge the team. Otherwise, they get noticed because they're playing a "Marquee" team, not because of their own exploits. Even though they're a 1st Place team. Even though FOX may end up eating their words when the calendar flips to October.

But I digress. Unfortunately, the Mets have this annoying habit of looking like asses in front of National audiences and that sort of happened to them today. A look deeper within the game reveals that they were simply a little unlucky, but if you're Joey Bagodonuts sitting on your couch with your Bud Light and Dorito crumbs on your shirt, with your two kids with oversized Mike Trout/Bryce Harper/Baseball Jesus jerseys covered in chocolate ice cream stains, you watched this game and thought "DERP DERP DERP METS SUCK HA HA." That, as far as I can tell, is the typical FOX audience.

The Mets were unlucky in this game. They were unlucky from the first batter, when Jacoby Ellsbury got jammed by Noah Syndergaard and floated a little dunker over 2nd base that fell in for a hit. Brett Gardner, who the more I see him the more I think he's just a taller Shane Victorini and he needs to be hit in the ribs repeatedly, did the exact same thing. Jam shot over 2nd for a hit. Syndergaard was making his pitches and he got ahead of Carlos Beltran 0-2 but then he just missed his location with a fastball, and it caught too much plate, and Beltran golfed it into the seats. Just listening to that happy-talking schmuck Matt Vasgersian's call, "And it's 3-0 YANKEEEEES!!!" put me in a foul mood. Why not just put on an entire Yankee uniform and make sure they show you in it in the booth before the game if you're going to pull crap like that. John Smoltz, who at least is sort of respectable, looked like he wanted no part of having to sit next to that clown but he had to suck it up, I guess, because we all gots to get paid somehow (fortunately, bow-tied jackass Ken Rosenthal wasn't at the game, I suspect if he was he would have spent the entire afternoon talking about how "the Mets haven't beat a team with a winning record since 2008" or something similarly inane).

So, yeah, that took me out of the game. Then, the Mets singled Michael Pineda to death but couldn't drag themselves back into things, and in the 6th, Syndergaard again missed on a pitch to Mr. Morality that resulted in another Home Run, and things were pretty much toast from there. Sure, the Mets loaded the bases in the 6th and loaded the bases in the 9th, but since the Yankees were bringing in Jeff Nelson, Mike Stanton, Goose Gossage, John Wetteland and The Great Rivera from their bullpen, the game was already over. Or at least that's what we were told by FOX.

Perhaps I take these things a little too personally, because this sort of game kind of wrecked what was otherwise a peaceful Saturday for me, but then again, I'm kind of tired of the Mets being treated like Baseball's armpit. Have I mentioned that this is a 1st place team? Nobody seems to want to give them any kind of credit and, honestly, I've had enough. If I were a player on the team, I'd have had enough too. The best way to stop it, however, is to go out and stick it in their ears. The Mets didn't do that today, but they'll have more chances.

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