1) Play a weekday afternoon game so I have to listen to it on the radio in my office.
2) Pitch R.A. Dickey.
If the Mets just switched exclusively to weekday afternoon games, maybe they'd win more often, since that seems to be the formula that works best for them. I'm not sure what their record is, but it seems like every time I click the radio on and listen while I work, the Mets come out victorious. And when they happen to throw R.A. Dickey in a weekday afternoon game, well, look out, because they seem to be just about unstoppable. Yesterday was one such example.
After a pair of games against the Neutered Mickey Mouse Marlins where the Mets basically looked like a defeated team playing out the string, Dickey went out yesterday and breathed some life back into everyone by doing what he does best: fluttering around the knuckleball, foul up the timing of the opposing batters, let his offense score whatever they can (the 6-run outburst seemed like manna from heaven, particularly considering most of it was generated by Andres Torres), and finish off the rest.
Aside from Justin Rugelach's Home Run in some early inning (I forget which), the Marlins really didn't seem to mount much of a threat the rest of the way. This is, of course, as far as I could tell, listening mostly with half an ear while immersing myself in assorted phone calls, e-mails and other paperwork that must be done. I've mentioned that Josh Lewin generally comes in handy on days like this; his inflections generally call attention to the important. Unfortunately, Lewin was off yesterday, leaving Howie Rose to rot alongside the vanilla voice of Jim Duquette, who appears to be about as competent a broadcaster as he was a General Manager. With Duquette, I'm left to sort of figure things out for myself, because he doesn't leave much in the way of notifying you of something interesting going on. After he did his innings, he threw it back to Howie. There was a long pause, much longer than usual, before Howie started speaking again. I was beginning to think he might have put Howie to sleep. He would have put me to sleep had I not had other things to do.
Nonetheless, even being bored by Jim Duquette couldn't put a damper on Dickey's sterling performance. With him pitching on a Thursday afternoon, how could you go wrong?