Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Garbage Time Team

Sometimes I wonder if the Mets just go into Garbage time mode before the game's even started. That's more or less what it looked like last night in Milwaukee, where the Mets looked completely worn out and hung over from this weekend's massacre before exploding for 3 whole runs in a 9th inning rally that you can guarantee would not have happened had the Brewers not blown the game open innings earlier.

By virtue of their stellar play, the Mets have now earned themselves a spot in 3rd place, a departure from the lofty 2nd place perch we've grown so used to over the past 3 seasons. Apparently just missing the boat wasn't good enough for the Mets, now it's time for some real mediocrity.

I think you could discuss the offensive problems with the Mets until you're blue in the face. If you really want to create a solution, I think this is the only thing that needs to be done. I can't take full credit for this idea, in reality, it must go to my insane co-worker, but when he bellowed this at me yesterday morning and punctuated it by screaming "PUT THAT IN YOUR BLOG!" I figured it was time to bring it up.

Rather than the Mets taking the field, there should be a Clown Car that pulls up to the Pitcher's mound at the beginning of each game. One by one, each member of the team gets out of the car, dressed in some form of ridiculous outfit, led by Jerry Manuel, who is in full getup, with the Dunce's cap, Polka-dot suit, giant shoes and a huge red nose. The entrance music will, of course, have to be some sort of Circus Calliope. Everyone's At Bat music will have to reflect this. Sadly, this means no more Reggaeton (or Creed, in Brian Schneider's case). After everyone makes their entrance, usually by tripping over the pitchers mound or doing a cartwheel in the Outfield, Jeff Wilpon gets out of the car, wearing a T-shirt that reads "I'm With Stupid," and an arrow pointing to his left. To his left, Fred Wilpon. Fred wears a T-shirt that reads "I invested with Bernie Madoff."

Ladies and Gentlemen, your 2009 New York Mets. Imminent Disaster awaits.

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