The Perfect Nickname

I really didn't see enough of last night's game to write anything informed about it. Suffice it to say that what I was able to see through a bar window on my way home, that being Felix Pie joyously pumping his fist, I gathered things didn't go well.

The upside to last night, if there was any, was that John Maine, for his third straight outing, threw fairly well, only allowing 2 runs on 5 hits over his 6 innings. His walks were down and his strikeouts were up, so hopefully he's starting to find his legs and will eventually return to the form he displayed during Spring training and throughout most of last year.

Speaking of Maine, there was a long discussion on Opening Day between myself, El Guapo and SVB involving finding a better nickname for John Maine. The standards, "The Maine Event" and "Maine Man" are nice, but a bit too formulaic. The Bermanism, "State and Maine," isn't so great either. There were other names suggested, such as John "The Destroyer" Maine and "Remember the Maine," but none of them seemed to suit him well enough. It seemed a lost cause until SVB came up with what we felt was the winner.

We would like to introduce Maine's new nickname: "Death Cab for John Maine."

I'm not sure what the thought process was for this whatsoever. I don't think this means SVB thinks John Maine is a Cutie. I'm pretty sure, based on his use of Metallica as his entrance music, that Maine doesn't even listen to Death Cab for Cutie (I can't vouch for SVB, but I don't). In fact, there's a fairly good chance he has no idea who they are. Although Maine can be soft-spoken, he's certainly not Emo, at least not from what I've been able to gather from interviews. Maybe it has something to do with his offseason impostor's proclamation that he was a "Piece of Ass." But, if nothing else, it's a thought-provoking nickname that makes me laugh (despite the fact that the thought might be "What the hell are you talking about?"). So let's spread the word on this one.

Death Cab for John Maine. Hopefully, it'll stick.