Thursday, July 5, 2007

"Mets In Trouble..."

Int. Living Room, Day.

GROVER stands over his Answering Machine.

(Machine Beeps)

GROVER'S DAD: Grover, I need to know if you're gonna stay in my apartment. Otherwise, I'll rent it. Call me.


Knicks In Trouble...

-From the film "Kicking And Screaming."
(I mean the good Kicking and Screaming, not the Will Ferrell Abomination.)

Grover's Dad's concern about the Knicks could just as easily translate to the Mets right now. If you missed last night's game because you were out watching fireworks, well, you probably did better watching the fireworks in the middle of the torrential downpour that swept through the New York Metro area. After one more miserable loss in Colorado, and one more total implosion by the pitching staff, and one more game where I had to listen to Gary Cohen and Tom McCarthy talk about Pop Rocks, Fireworks and Bagels, I'm just about at my wits end.

Just look at these numbers from the last few days:

El Duque: 4IP, 6H, 6R, 5ER, 6BB, 2K, 106 pitches
Mota: .2IP, 6H, 6R, 6ER, 0BB, 1K, 43 pitches
Feliciano: 1IP, 3H, 3R, 3ER, 2BB, 1K
Vargas: 3.1IP, 11H, 9ER, 2BB, 2K
Schoeneweis: Who cares, we all know he sucks.

Beltran: 1-11, 2RBI
Delgado: 3-12, 3RBI
Reyes: 2-13, 3R

I know that when the Mets and Rockies faced each other in April, I noted to El Guapo that their lineup really wasn't as bad as it seemed, and maybe they could surprise if they got their act together. And they did for a while, and then they didn't , and it looks like the Mets were just what they needed to get them going again. It was appropriate that the Mets looked to be in a Fog on the night they faced a pitcher named Fogg. I'm not sure what this team needs first, a dependable arm in the bullpen or a guy who can get a hit with a runner in scoring position. I've been going bonkers about this pretty much all season long, about the miserable situational hitting that this team has exhibited, and once again, it's come back to bite the Mets in the ass and really cut the legs out from under them when it looked like they were breaking out of their early-June funk. But for as good as they looked against Oakland, St. Louis and in Philly, they've managed to look twice as bad in Colorado. Yes, it helps that the rest of the division has shit the bed just as badly over the last few weeks, but how long can you manage to tread water and luck out because Philly and Atlanta happen to lose on the same night.

We're off to another hitter's paradise, Enron Astros The Astrodome Mike Scott Minute Maid Park for the weekend series. You know, that stadium with the 300' Jeff Bagwell porch down the left field line, and the cute little Choo-Choo Train, and the chicken wire outfield fence that nearly killed Beltran last season, and the ridiculous hill in Center Field that's there for no particular reason, and their hotshot rookie Hunter Pence who seems to be the only redeeming feature for an Astros team that has muddled through the first few months of the season. Meanwhile, the Mets are looking at seeing Sandy Alomar, Jr. behind the plate at some point over the weekend.

Of course, this all is pointing to a recipe for instant doom for the Mets. At this point, it wouldn't surprise me if Reyes tripled 4 times in a game, followed by Beltran striking out each time following him, and then came back and hit 4 HRs with the bases empty the next night. John Maine could throw 9 shutout innings tomorrow night and lose because Schoeneweis balked while warming up in the bullpen. Barney Rubble could show up and play first base. Takeru Kobayashi could come in and throw shutout relief for 3 innings, then get called out because he attempted to bat with a hot dog. It's almost reminiscent of the days when Todd Zeile used to hit into double plays with the bases empty. Losing 3 of 4 in Houston wouldn't surprise me. Then again, winning 3 of 4 in Houston wouldn't surprise me. Nothing surprises me anymore.

Or maybe the Mets have finally pushed me off the deep end...

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