Jon Niese pitched like a jackass and in the process Giancarlo Stanton hit a pair of Home Runs that I'm told are currently halfway to Mars.
So, on Sunday, the Mets were forced to unleash their secret weapon. That's right, Bartolo Colon pretty much singlehandedly beat the Marlins by pitching well into the 7th inning, long enough for the Mets to scrape out a lead for him. But that's a small part of the story, because in the 2nd inning, Colon basically brought the house down by smoking an RBI double clear out to the wall in Center Field.
Colon's At Bats have basically become a show in and of itself. He doesn't have to get a hit in order to provide some general entertainment, because if he strikes out, he usually does so with such force that his helmet tends to fly off somewhere in the vicinity of 3rd base. When he does make contact, the ball generally doesn't go very far, and Colon generally doesn't seem to want to be bothered to do things like toss the bat away, so on a ground out, you'll usually see him halfheartedly jog up the 1st base line with the bat in his hand before peeling off for the dugout after about 75 feet. Every once in a while, the bat will get tossed and he'll get to the base. Then, there was the instance two weeks ago against St. Louis, wherein he hit a ball about 10 feet. Somehow, Ratso Molina didn't pick it up and then didn't pick it cleanly, and by time he did manage to get a handle on it, Colon had managed to beat out the play. The overwhelming majority of fans of course felt it should be scored an infield hit, but the scorer felt otherwise, charging Molina with the error.
Sunday, however, Colon left nothing to chance. With Anthony Recker on 2nd and 1 out in the 2nd, Colon hacked away at a David Phelps offering and lined a shot towards the gap in Left Center field. Ichiro Suzuki, not expecting such a thing to happen, was playing shallow and shaded to right, and so the ball sailed past him and clear to the Center Field fence. Colon, moving about as fast as could be expected for a man of his girth, cruised into 2nd with an easy Double. Had he found another gear—bear in mind such a thing may not be possible for him—a triple was certainly possible. This likely would have caused a full meltdown at Citi Field. I mean, if Al Leiter can hit a triple, anything's possible, but maybe that was a little too much to ask of Colon.
Regardless, any time Bartolo Colon can get a hit like that, the Mets ought to win, but they had to work to get it. After a Wilmer Flores Home Run in the 3rd, the Mets had a 3-1 lead, but the Marlins chipped away and were generally annoying, and when future Hell's Angel Justin Bour hit a Home Run in the 6th, the game was tied. But the Mets managed to scrape across a run in the last of the 7th, courtesy of Ruben Tejada, who somehow rediscovered himself this weekend in a cameo appearance at 3rd Base. Tejada was generally in the middle of all sorts of mischief this weekend, and his double brought home the eventual winning run. The Marlins attempted to gnat themselves into another rally in the 8th, but Terry Collins was having none of this nonsense and went right to Jeurys Familia, who slammed the door and got the Mets a win, mercifully.
So, now the Mets are done with the Marlins for a little while (I think), which is good, because I've had about enough of these clowns. Instead, it's off to the West Coast, where things have just been wonderful for them over the past few years. First on the trip is San Diego, where in case you've forgotten, the Mets have lost every game they've ever played in Petco Park by a score of 2-1. The 2-1 loss seems to be a specialty of this team, so don't be too surprised if you wake up after one of these 10:10pm starts to see that this was the final score.