Ruining All The Fun

Much like 95% of the nation, I was rooting for the Pittsburgh Pirates to knock off the Cardinals in the NLDS. How could anyone not root for a team that had spent 20 years in Baseball Purgatory, suffering through perhaps the worst black hole of mismanagement in Professional Sports History? After enduring a 20-year losing streak, the Pirates were finally back in the playoffs, a young, hungry team with a rabid fan base that pretty much incited Johnny Cueto to crap his pants in the Wildcard Game.

Unfortunately, they ran into the St. Louis Cardinals, perhaps the most irritating, businesslike buzzsaw in the game today. The Cardinals, who served as Killjoy to the Nationals last season, the Rangers 2 years ago, and the Mets for a generation, stopped the Pirates in their tracks. After the Pirates won Game 3 on Sunday, they took the field on Monday with a golden opportunity to stomp out the Cardinals and perhaps shut up everyone who continues to heap praise on their resiliency and character. But, the Cardinals played like the Cardinals, won Game 4 behind rookie Michael Wacha, and then went back to St. Louis, put their ace Adam Wainwright on the hill, sat back and watched as Wainwright mowed the Pirates down, ending their season with a 6-1 victory that everyone hoped wouldn't happen but figured probably would.

My disdain for the Cardinals was rekindled in 2006, but it's been stewing ever since I was a kid and the Cardinals screwed up my childhood by winning multiple pennant races against the Mets. I have since referred to them as a plague, a nuisance and a swarm of moths, or perhaps one of those enemies in a video game that you stomp on repeatedly but it keeps coming back to life. That's what the Cardinals are. I don't dislike them as much as, say, the Braves, or that other team from Northern New York City, but I wish they would just disappear. I wish the Cardinals would just get swallowed up in a hole and go away forever, so we don't have to hear about their storied past, or their recent success, or their innovative managers, or their uniforms, or their great fans or anything else.

However, they're still here and still wreaking havoc in the postseason. They beat the Pirates, so nobody likes them, and now they get to go and face the Dodgefathers. This should be interesting. The Dodgers and their Voodoo Hex vs. the Cardinals that never die. I'm picking the Dodgers to win, not so much because I think they're that much better than the Cardinals, but I just want the Dodgers to win. I don't even like either of these teams, but I guess one of them has to win. Unless they just refuse to get out of each other's way and end up playing a game that lasts forever, which I wouldn't put past either of these teams. So...yeah. That's what I've got for you. Go Dodgefathers.